he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
