My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
