Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
