I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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