who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
