so that wasnt chicken after all
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Found your dick twin last night
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize