last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
