hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
