if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
