so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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