make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
All the doctor said was why
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
