It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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