i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
