We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
