it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
