Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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