Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
