This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
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well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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