i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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