Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
