"it" just moved
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
