6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize