none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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