fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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