this just has baby written all over it
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I believe in your delicious
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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