Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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