I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
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How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
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He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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