I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
