I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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