'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
