Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
