Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
