why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
