i wish peter jackson would direct porn
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize