I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If its not for food we ain't going out.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
