sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
