no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
