It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
