Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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