And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
