hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
