i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
