That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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