Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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