got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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