Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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