everyone is single if you try hard enough
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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