I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
