youre lurking in front of me
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
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So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
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I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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