Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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