You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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