I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
