Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
