you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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