we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
