Can Purell be used as lube?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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