i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
