Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
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I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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