are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
