...so i touched it.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
