yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
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