i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
