Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
