You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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