Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
